After Everything
by turtleback
Summary: This story is set post Episode 3.10 and is focused on Maura and Jane dealing with the aftermath of some of the events of Ep 3.10. See Chapter 1 for full summary with major Spoilers. Final chapter posted.
1. Chapter 1

**After Everything**

Pairing: Jane/Maura  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

**Warning: Major Spoilers for Episode 3.10**

**Summary: This story happens in the aftermath of Episode 3.10 BUT I am completely ignoring the baby on the doorstep so this story will not have any baby stuff. It will focus on Maura dealing with the aftermath of the events with Dennis, and Jane and Maura's friendship/possible developing relationship. The story will probably be 3-4 chapters. This first chapter just sort of gets the ball rolling.**

* * *

Saturday afternoon Maura knocked on Jane's apartment door and when Jane opened the door to let her in Maura simply said, "I'm on my way out of town. I'm taking a trip."

"What?" Jane said in surprise.

Maura walked into Jane's apartment and explained, "I need to get away from...my life. I put in for two weeks vacation. I don't know if I'm going to be gone that long but I will probably be gone for at least a week."

"Where are you going?" Jane asked.

"My family has a house in New Hampshire, near North Conway in the White Mountains. It's only about a three hour drive."

A concerned look overtook Jane's features and she absentmindedly chewed on her thumbnail before saying, "Maur, I'm not sure I like the idea of you going up there alone. After everything you've gone through and you know, just in general, I don't think it's a good idea right now.

"That's why I'm here. You can come with me. If you want," Maura added, sort of shyly shrugging her shoulders.

Jane looked at Maura in surprise. "I thought you wanted to get away from your life."

"Yes, in the sense that I want to get away from Boston, from my house, from work and the morgue. I need a change in scenery. But I never want to get away from you."

"Yeah, right," Jane said, rolling her eyes. "Um, if you're sure, I can make a few calls, take some vacation time too." Jane had moved directly in front of Maura and put both hands on Maura's shoulders. "I just hate the idea of you being alone right now."

Maura nodded in understanding. "I'm sure you'll get the time off. Go pack while you make the phone calls. We can be there by dinner time."

"Okay, I'm on it," Jane said, heading to her bedroom to pack.

"Pack at least one dress and your bathing suit," Maura called after her.

* * *

A little over three hours later the two women arrived at the Isles family vacation home nestled at the base of the White Mountains. The house looked modest enough from the outside but when they entered the downstairs, Jane said, "Jesus H. Christ, look at this place."

"It is my family's house. I have seen it before," Maura replied.

Dark wood on the walls and floors and exposed wood beams on the ceiling of first floor gave the feel of a rustic cabin, but the rest of the decor was undeniably modern. The first floor consisted of a large, well-appointed, modern kitchen that opened onto a large living room with a huge entertainment system that covered most of one wall. The opposite wall housed a large fireplace with an over-sized mantle.

"I was expecting something rustic, maybe even quaint. This looks like some fancy billionaire's secret hideaway. Which, I guess it kind of is," Jane joked.

"I'm not a billionaire, and my parents, mostly my father actually, were responsible for all of the renovations and the decorating. I would have probably gone a little more rustic in appearance, and much simpler in decor, but this is what he wanted. He's the one that wanted this house and uses it the most. I don't know why he wanted this large kitchen with all of these appliances though. He hardly ever makes any food for himself."

While Maura was talking, Jane was wandering around, opening doors and cupboards and looking inside. She opened the door that led out the back of the kitchen and her mouth dropped open. "Maura, there's a fucking pool, indoors, right here off the kitchen."

"Jane, I know. My father usually comes here in the winter to ski, and it's nice to swim after skiing, so yes, he had an addition put on the house with an enclosed pool."

"It looks like the pool is clean and ready to be used. Were your parents here recently?"

"No. They have a caretaker who looks after the property when they aren't here. I called him this morning and told him I was coming and wanted the pool available for use."

"This is crazy," Jane said shaking her head. "I'm afraid to look upstairs."

Maura grabbed Jane's arm and pulled her towards the stairs. "It's just the bedrooms upstairs. Come on, I'll show you your bedroom and then we can both shower because I want to go out to dinner."

* * *

After they were seated at the restaurant Maura had raved about during their entire fifteen minute drive, Jane leaned across the table and said, "You've been here before right?"

"Yes, of course. I was telling you how good the food is so obviously I've been here."

"Then you already know that we are both insanely overdressed. We are at a restaurant that can only be referred to as the local pub. A very family friendly, no frills, don't bother wearing a dress, pub. I can't believe you told me that I had to wear a dress, and put my hair up, and wear these heels so we could eat together at a pub. I thought you couldn't lie."

"I didn't lie. I said you should wear the dress and heels. I never said why. You look beautiful when you dress up and I knew that once we went to dinner once you would know that everything and everyone in town is very casual and you would refuse to wear the dress," Maura explained.

Jane could only shake her head. "I feel ridiculous."

"You shouldn't feel ridiculous. You look lovely," Maura said seriously.

"Well, as my best friend you have to say that," Jane said blushing slightly.

"I don't have to say that. But I appreciate that you indulged me for tonight. Don't worry the rest of the week you can wear whatever you want."

"To make up for this dress, the rest of the week you should wear whatever I tell you to. I'm gonna find some old man sweaters and make you wear those to dinner."

Maura couldn't help but grin. "Don't pout. You are going to absolutely love the food whether or not you're wearing a dress."

"Fine. What do you recommend?"

"The corned beef and cabbage or the meatloaf. They also have wonderful steak," Maura added.

"Are you serious? You would never let me to eat these things at home. The meatloaf is wrapped in bacon! Are you sure you're feeling okay? Now I know why you made me wear the dress, so I couldn't completely stuff my face with this food. If I eat too much I won't be able to walk in this thing," Jane said picking at the tight fabric clinging to her midsection."

"We came on this vacation to seek comfort and this restaurant specializes in comfort food," Maura said simply. "For a few days we can eat this delicious food and not worry about how unhealthy it might be."

The waitress came to take their orders and once she left, Jane asked, "How often do you come up here?"

"I used to come up a few times a year or more. Recently it's been less often. Since I moved back to Boston, it's been the place I always visit when I need to get away from everything," Maura replied.

"I don't think I've ever heard you mention coming here."

"It's been awhile since the last time I was here. I haven't felt the need to come up here recently. And I've never brought someone else with me," Maura admitted.

Jane reached across the table and took hold of one of Maura's hands. "Thank you for inviting me. I'm really happy to be here with you."

"I'm really happy you came here with me."

* * *

In the middle of the night, Jane woke to a whimpering sound. She looked at the clock and She made her way across the hall to Maura's room. Maura was on her side and her back was to the door. Jane gently pulled back the covers on the empty side of the bed and slipped under them.

Maura flinched when Jane got into bed with her and tried to wipe away her tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Jane put her hand on Maura's back and rubbed soft circles. "It's okay to cry. In fact I think you deserve to have a good cry. I know you haven't wanted to talk about yet, but I'm here to listen if you do want to talk."

Maura sniffled, still trying to stop crying. "I just feel so stupid."

"You had no reason to think Dennis was going to try to harm you," Jane said gently.

"You didn't like him. On some level, even if you weren't conscious of it, there was something that made you not like him."

Jane didn't respond to that, she just kept rubbing Maura's back in soothing circles.

"That's not even exactly why I feel stupid. It's not that he almost killed me, it's that I fell for everything he said to me," Maura said, still fighting back tears. "All it took was him saying a few words about how his parents had a perfect marriage and he never thought he could have that until he met me. And I totally fell for it. It makes me feel so gullible and so desperate and pathetic."

"You have no reason to blame yourself," Jane tried again.

The tears came back in full force. "Is it so wrong that I want someone to say something like that to me and really mean it?"

"Of course you're not wrong to want that. Try to get some sleep, honey. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Stay here with me?" Maura asked softly.

"Of course."

Maura reached behind her and took Jane's hand, which had come to rest on her back, and pulled it around her waist. Jane snuggled in closer to Maura's back and they both fell back asleep in that position.


	2. Chapter 2

**After Everything**

Pairing: Jane/Maura  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

**Warning: Major Spoilers for Episode 3.10.**

**_A/N: Thank you everyone for all of the comments and alerts. I had most of this chapter written already. The next chapter will probably take longer to get up._  
**

* * *

The next morning Jane and Maura packed water and lunch and went for a hike on one of the many trails near Maura's house, ending at a beautiful overlook.

"It's beautiful," Jane said. "We should really come up here more often."

"I didn't know if you would enjoy this. I always think of you as such a city person," Maura said.

"I can be a country, outdoorsy person. I just don't really get the opportunity to go somewhere like this very often."

They found a spot to sit down, leaning against a large boulder, and eat lunch, a peanut butter sandwich for Jane and an avocado and tomato sandwich for Maura.

After she finished eating, Jane said, "Maura, I want to say something I've been thinking about since last night. I don't want to make you keep talking about what happened with Dennis if you don't want to, but I do want to make sure you really understand something. It's wasn't your fault."

Maura shook her head. "That's a nice thing to say, but-"

"No, listen to me. Many criminals prey on people they perceive to be weak. Serial killers are different. They may start with easy targets but as they progress part of the game for them is picking more and more difficult targets. It's not just about killing someone, it's about tricking and deceiving, it's about destroying someone completely before you kill them."

"Jane, I know all about the psychology-"

"No, you don't. You know what you read in textbooks, but you don't know from experience. Hoyt," Jane said, flinching at saying his name, "picked couples. Think about the challenge of subduing two people at once and then doing what he did to them. He learned how to use people's strengths against them. When he came across me, I was an even bigger challenge, taking on a cop. He knew exactly how to get me where he wanted me each time. He failed to kill me, but I don't think it's because he underestimated me, I think he overestimated his own abilities. And he didn't fail to leave his mark on me."

"Dennis preyed on my neediness and insecurities. Not my strengths."

They were sitting shoulder to shoulder. Jane had avoided actually looking at Maura during their discussion, hoping to keep her emotions in check that way. But now Jane grabbed Maura's hand and laced their fingers together. "No he didn't. Dennis learned that you are intelligent and interesting, but also that you're kind and giving and eternally optimistic. He saw your strengths, not your weaknesses, and he saw you as the ultimate challenge. That's not your fault. He left me a note."

"What do you mean?"

"Before we knew Dennis was the killer there was a note left on my desk. It said, 'I'm about to sculpt my finest piece of work.' That's how he saw you."

Maura squeezed Jane's hand. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better. Unfortunately, I don't think it will be so easy."

"I know," Jane sighed.

"Do you still have dreams about Hoyt?"

Jane laughed softly. She pulled her hand out of Maura's grasp and unconsciously rubbed her fingers over the scars on her palms. "I dream about killing him. Not often, but occasionally I still do. Some things just don't make sense to me about that day. He knew he was dying and that if anything interrupted his ability to kill me, he'd die from the cancer before he got another chance. He had me pinned down and he could have killed me but he delayed. Sometimes I think that he wanted me to kill him so he didn't have to go through dying from the cancer and so he actually got what he wanted in the end."

Maura rested her hand on Jane's thigh. "Or he was arrogant and he wanted to make you suffer completely before he killed you."

"By going after you?"

Maura nodded.

Jane thought about that for a moment before saying, "In that case he did underestimate me."

They both sat in silent contemplation until Maura said, "When Dennis had me with the knife to my throat, I think I was more angry with myself than scared. I knew you would protect me."

"It wasn't just me there. It was Korsak and Frost too. They weren't going to let Dennis hurt you either."

Maura cleared her throat and stood up. "We should probably head back now. Are you ready?"

"Yeah sure," Jane agreed. "I think I'm ready to check out the pool now anyway."

* * *

The next few days passed in much the same way. Hiking in the morning, swimming and relaxing in the afternoon, and then dinner at the pub. The summer was coming to an end and the evenings were getting chilly. Jane went out one afternoon and returned with two thick wool sweaters. Maura made a big show of complaining about the lack of style of the sweaters, but each night since then she had put hers on after dinner.

Tonight, like each of the last two nights, Jane and Maura were sitting in the living room, Maura with her laptop and a glass of wine and Jane with a book and a bottle of beer.

They had spent each evening in comfortable silence but tonight Jane put down her book and took a seat close to Maura on the couch. "Do you wanna talk about how you're doing?" Jane asked. "You haven't said anything since our first hike."

"I'm...okay. It's easy to not think about..." Maura shook her head. "It's easy to forget while we are here. I don't know how it will be when we go home." Maura set her glass of wine down and turned fully towards Jane. "I think our talk helped. I don't feel as guilty about my decisions and actions now."

Jane leaned forward slightly and put her hand on Maura's knee. "Good. I know it's not something you just forget overnight but you'll forget it a little more each day."

Maura didn't respond. She leaned forward slightly too and looked into Jane's eyes, watching her pupils dilate slightly, and then she watched as Jane's eyes dipped to her lips and then lower for a split second before snapping back up to her face.

Her own gaze shifted to Jane's lips, which Jane unconsciously licked, and then back to Jane's eyes. Maura closed the remaining distance between them, but before her lips touched Jane's, she felt a hand pushing her back. She opened her eyes to find Jane leaning back and looking at her wide-eyed.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked.

Rationally, Maura knew she shouldn't be surprised by Jane's reaction based her past observance of Jane's reactions in sensitive or emotional situations. Maura tried to remain calm and said, "What you want me to do. What we've both wanted for a long time."

"What? I don't-"

"Jane, it's okay. We want the same thing. You don't have to hide it from me or pretend otherwise anymore."

Jane pulled away further, turning her body and her gaze away from Maura. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm an expert in reading facial cues and other body language-" Maura started.

"Maura, please don't give me some science-y explanation. We can just forget about it and move on. We're still best friends."

"No," Maura said sharply, surprising Jane and herself. "No, I can't forget about it, and no, I don't want to move on."

"Maura, you've been through a lot in the past week. Let's just pretend this didn't happen."

Maura shook her head, willing the tears to not fall. "I don't understand why you're lying to me. I'm not blind. I see how you look at me, stare at me, even touch me. I'm well trained in reading physiological clues and your body is absolutely screaming its attraction to me. I've been so patient, waiting for you to figure out whatever you needed to figure out in order to come to terms with your feelings.

"And all this time," Maura continued, "I've let you take your frustrations out on me, let you be short with me and even rude and hurtful sometimes, because I knew it came from your frustration at not being able to act on your feelings for me. I've watched you try to pretend you were interested in the men who pursued you. I tried to be supportive, even when they were so completely unworthy of you. For awhile I even tried to make you jealous, hoping to speed the process up a bit, choosing to date men I knew would drive you crazy. This has nothing to do what happened this week. This has been months in the making and don't patronize me by pretending otherwise."

"Maura..." Jane said, pleading for Maura to stop talking.

Maura stood and paced back and forth in front of the couch several times before turning back to Jane and saying with more anger and hurt in her voice than Jane had ever heard before, "I know you wanted to kiss me. You had sex with Gabriel Dean, the thought of which makes me feel physically ill, and you can't even bring yourself to kiss me. Why not me? What's wrong with me?"

"Maura, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you." Jane said softly.

"There must be. That's the only explanation for all my failed relationships. I'm the common denominator. And you...What is it that's stopping you from letting yourself love me the way you want to?"

When no response was forthcoming from Jane, Maura said simply, "I'm going to bed," and she went upstairs, leaving Jane sitting on the couch holding her head in her hands.

* * *

**_A/N: Please don't be angry with me. They're going to make positive progress in the next chapter._**


	3. Chapter 3

**After Everything**

Chapter 3

Pairing: Jane/Maura  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

**Warning: Major Spoilers for Episode 3.10.**

* * *

Jane sat downstairs for a long time. She wanted to run after Maura immediately and apologize and say all sorts of things, but she didn't trust herself to do that yet. She didn't trust herself to say the rights things when she had managed to say only the wrong things so far.

It was absurd really. Countless times Jane had imagined a scenario just like what happened tonight, except in her imagination she had definitely kissed Maura. Always. So why tonight had she pushed Maura away and denied even wanting to kiss her? Jane had no immediate answer for that.

So Jane took some time to try to figure out how to explain herself. But after a while, although she had not made much progress in figuring out her reaction or what to say, Jane went upstairs to Maura's bedroom. The door was open and Jane saw Maura was sitting in bed, still in her clothes. Maura looked over at Jane standing in the doorway. She wasn't crying but her eyes were red and puffy.

Jane leaned against the wall. She opened her mouth to talk and then closed it again twice before finally saying, "I wasn't subconsciously aware that Dennis was a bad guy. That's not why I didn't like him. I didn't like him because I was jealous of him. I'm jealous of every guy you go out with." After a long pause Jane continued, "I'm jealous because I think I might be in love with you."

Maura raised her eyebrows. "You think you might be?

"I know that sounded so pathetic. I don't...I don't know what I'm supposed to do here."

The anger wasn't gone from Maura's voice but a lot of the fight was. She sounded tired as she responded, "Telling me how you feel would have been a good start. Not trying to lie to me would have also been a good decision."

Jane moved to the foot of the bed. "May I sit down?" Maura nodded and Jane perched on the corner of the bed, facing towards Maura. "I thought I should be sure before telling you how I felt. I didn't want to say something if it wasn't really how I was feeling. That's the kind of admission that could make things weird between best friends. I'm afraid of damaging what we have."

"You can't have it both ways, Jane. You can't keep the intimacy that we have without acknowledging what it really is. At least not anymore. I can't live like this," Maura finished softly.

"But it isn't that simple, Maura. What happens if we change our relationship and things don't work out between us? What if you grow tired of me? What if we aren't compatible in other ways. The way we are now works. If we change things, what if it doesn't work anymore? Relationships always end. Christ, after almost forty years my dad just up and walked out on Ma. Maybe it'll be a year, or maybe it'll be thirty years, but someday, chances are you will leave me, and I just don't think I could survive that."

"The way we are now isn't working anymore," Maura responded, shaking her head. "I'm not happy and I don't think you are either. Things have to change, one way or the other, because I can't continue like this. I can't continue to be in love with you if you are going to continue to be unavailable to me. I need you, Jane. Some days, I physically ache for you. If I can't have the physical intimacy with you that I desire then we can't continue to have the emotional intimacy that we have. I'm going to need distance from you, at least for a while, maybe forever."

Jane closed her eyes and groaned in frustration. "I'm trying here. I really am. I wasn't ready to have this conversation yet. And now, you're just springing all of this on me. I can't...I don't..." Jane dropped her head into her hands. After a moment she lifted her head and said, "Do I really treat you as poorly as you said?"

"Sometimes."

"Why do you put up with it?"

"Because I love you. Frankly, it's simply more evidence of the intimacy we share. You allow yourself to let go with me in a way you don't with other people. And I do the same with you. We are so deeply and strongly connected, but that means sometimes taking the bad with the good."

"I don't want to treat you badly. God, you have no idea how terrible it makes me feel to think that I've hurt you with the way I've been acting. You deserve the best of everything and I want you to have it. I wish..." Jane started but trailed off. She stood up and started pacing.

"Jane, after everything we've been through recently, what could you possibly be waiting for? What more do you need to know that we belong together."

Jane shook her head, even though she knew Maura was right. She was running out of arguments and she wasn't sure why she was even fighting this anymore. "You're the one who needs the crime lab to confirm that the red substance coming from a victim's body is blood. I thought you would understand that I just need to be sure," Jane said, moving back to the side of the bed.

Maura moved towards Jane until she was kneeling on the bed right in front of her. She put her hands on either side of Jane's neck, rubbing her thumbs across Jane's cheeks.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked.

"Giving you proof," Maura replied. She closed the remaining distance between them, finally pressing her lips against Jane's. Mouth slightly parted, she took Jane's upper lip in her mouth. Jane instinctively grabbed Maura's waist and pulled their bodies together. Maura sucked on Jane's lip as she pulled back and then opened her eyes to look at Jane. Jane's eyes were still closed, her mouth was parted and she was leaning slightly towards Maura.

Maura brushed Jane's unruly curls out of her face. "We fit, Jane."

"I know," Jane whispered.

"I can't explain how or why, but we fit."

Jane dropped her head to Maura's shoulder and wrapped her arms around Maura's back. "Can it possibly be this easy?"

"This wasn't easy," Maura replied, almost laughing.

"I mean, we can just be together? Just like that?"

"Yes, we can."

"So, what happens now?" Jane asked.

"We go to sleep."

Jane straightened up. "I guess I was wondering about slightly longer term than just tonight."

Maura shrugged slightly. "That's the best I can do right now. My position should be clear. I think the rest is up to you. Stay here with me tonight? Tomorrow we'll see what happens."

"Okay."

* * *

Maura woke up the next morning in an empty bed. She resisted the urge to immediately find Jane. Instead she took a shower and got dressed. Downstairs she found coffee made and waiting for her. After looking around she found Jane sitting on the front porch. She put on a jacket and joined Jane on the porch swing.

Jane hadn't really packed for the cool weather of the mountains, so she had made a few purchases since they had arrived, including the red plaid flannel jacket she was now wearing. It made her look like she really belonged out here in the woods, rather than in the city, and Maura had found it oddly endearing. "Hey," was all Maura said as she sat down.

"I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I didn't mean to leave you alone but I didn't want to wake you up."

"Are you okay?"

Jane gave Maura a small smile and grasped Maura's hand, lacing their fingers together. "I've just been thinking a lot. You know, I thought I had it all figured out. I just wanted to find someone who I could enjoy spending time with. Like Casey. I mean, I really like Casey. We weren't going to have some great romance, at least I wasn't going to. But we would have been comfortable together. We would have been happy enough. But most of all he was safe. That's what I was looking for. Something safe and easy and a little bland. Because my main concern was not getting hurt, not even putting myself in a position to be hurt. It sounds pathetic when I think about it. Cowardly."

"Self-preservation is a natural instinct. And great romance is probably overrated."

"Then I met you."

"Me?" Maura said softly.

"I mean, it wasn't immediate, but over time I started to fall in love with you. Then there were little things that I started to think about. Small romantic gestures that I imagined doing for the first time in my life. And then those ideas got bigger and I imagined sweeping you off your feet with my grand romantic gestures."

"You didn't though."

"It wasn't part of the plan. You weren't part of the plan. But it was a bad plan. I keep thinking about what you said about the intimacy we already have. What I didn't know before you was how much I would want and need that. It terrifies me, both needing it and the possibility of losing it, losing you."

"I was thinking about that and what you said about me leaving you. What makes you think I would be the one to leave you. Why aren't you afraid that you'll leave me?"

"I, uh...yeah, I see your point. When did you get so smart about all this stuff?"

Maura laughed ruefully. "Let's not forget about Dennis."

Jane squeezed Maura's hand. "That wasn't your fault."

"Spending time with you, I've learned a lot about myself and what I want in life. It's not about intelligence. It's being confident that we belong together."

Jane turned towards Maura and leaned in to kiss her. Maura's lips parted and Jane's tongue pushed inside for a more heated kiss than their first one. Jane pulled back but Maura grabbed her by the neck and pulled her back for another kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

**After Everything**

Chapter 4

Pairing: Jane/Maura  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

**Warning: Major Spoilers for Episode 3.10. See Chapter 1 for full summary.**

* * *

The following couple of days passed like all of their days on vacation had passed. Except now there was kissing and hand holding and cuddling. And sometimes Maura would catch Jane looking at her with a goofy grin and sometimes Jane would catch Maura looking at her with an intensity she'd never seen before.

Friday evening after dinner they were back at the house. Maura poured two glasses of wine. As much as she loved the food at the pub, their wine selection was abysmal. She always brought her own wine selection with her when she came up to the vacation home.

Maura moved to the living room, handing a glass of wine to Jane and settling next to her on the couch. Jane took a sip of wine and wrinkled her nose. She was trying to like Maura's wine but she had not been very successful so far.

Maura relaxed against Jane, resting her head on Jane's shoulder and her hand on Jane's leg. "Will you tell me one of your ideas for a grand romantic gesture?" she asked.

Jane shook her head vehemently. "No way."

She rubbed her hand on Jane's thigh, feeling Jane's muscle twitch under her fingertips. "Please?"

"It's too embarrassing," Jane replied.

"Jane," Maura said pleadingly. "You can't embarrass yourself with me."

Jane sipped the wine. She was silent so long Maura thought she wasn't going to answer but eventually Jane said, "I used to have these fantasies where basically I would save you from some danger and you would jump into my arms and we'd kiss and declare our love for each other. I've realized it doesn't really work like that. I didn't become a cop because I wanted to play the hero, and, um, I would actually really prefer that neither of us get into any life threatening situations for a while. But, uh, you know," Jane rushed on, "there were other ideas. I thought about getting all dressed up, even wearing a dress like you like me to, and showing up at your door with flowers and asking you out. I don't know, it's kinda lame, and not very original. I'm not very good at this romantic stuff."

"Did you ever think about why I like seeing you wearing dresses?" Maura asked.

"No, I guess not." Jane laughed after a moment and said, "I guess it doesn't make a lot of sense unless it's because you like looking at me in a dress."

Maura smiled to herself at Jane's realization. "Tell me another idea."

"Um, okay, something like you would come home and I would have a candlelit dinner waiting for you."

"That's sweet. You can still do that. I would love it," Maura said.

Jane smiled. "How about this? You come home and there's a trail of rose petals to your bedroom and I'm in your bed, naked."

"Really? That was one of your ideas?"

"Maybe."

Maura laughed but then her expression turned serious again. "Were you ever going to tell me how you felt?"

"Of course not," Jane answered immediately and honestly. If you had rejected me, I wouldn't have been able to even look at you again. There was no way I could tell you. I didn't even want to admit my feelings to you when you initiated it because of that."

They fell back into silence until Maura said, "We should probably talk about when we're going home."

"I'm supposed to go back to work on Monday. But I'm sure I could get another week off if you want to stay up here longer," Jane replied.

"It's tempting to stay. It's been so relaxing."

"Just say the word and I'll make the call."

"I'm nervous about going home," Maura admitted.

"All of the loose ends from the Rockmond case should be wrapped up. They got your statement before we left so you shouldn't have to deal with that at all."

"That's good but it isn't what I'm nervous about."

"What is it?" Jane asked with concern.

"The last few days, being able to have all this time where it's just the two of us, have been really wonderful. I think I'm nervous that at home it won't be same." Maura sat up straight and put her wine glass down. She put her hand to Jane's cheek and leaned in for a soft kiss to Jane's lips. She leaned back and said, "I don't want that to stop when we get home."

Jane took both of Maura's hand in hers. "It's not going to stop. I don't ever want to stop. I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner. I'm sorry that I panicked and I didn't respond better immediately when you told me how you felt. But I'm not going to back out now. I don't know what's going to happen when we get home, but we're going to figure it out together."

Maura leaned forward again. Jane's hand went to the back of Maura's head while her other arm wrapped around Maura's waist and pulled her onto her lap, holding her close as their kiss went from slow and soft to heated, tongues dueling for dominance. Jane's hand slipped under the back of Maura's shirt and traced the skin around to Maura's abdomen and up until she rubbed a thumb over a bra-clad breast.

Maura gasped in surprise and sat back, tucking hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. "It's okay if you want to go slow with our physical relationship."

"I don't need to go slow. Do you?"

"No," Maura answered, "but I don't want you to think that sex is really important to me."

Jane was incredulous. "Since when is sex not important to you?"

"It's not as important as you are to me."

Jane frowned and absentmindedly ran her fingers over Maura's thighs. "I, um...Look, just because I don't talk about sex as freely as you do doesn't mean it's not important to me. It doesn't mean that I don't like it or don't want to do it."

"I simply don't want you to feel any pressure from me."

"If we weren't going to have sex we could just keep things how they were, just be best friends," Jane suggested.

Maura seemed to consider that for a moment. "Well, no, we couldn't do that because I don't want you to date anyone else."

Jane laughed. "Maura," she said, lowering her voice seductively, "I think you're beautiful. I've thought about being with you many times. I've woken up in a sweat from dreaming about you. There's no rush. We can take our time, but never think that I don't want you."

Maura was surprised. "You've thought about being with me in sexual situations?"

"Yes, sexual situations," Jane replied, grinning at Maura's word choice. "Although mostly I've just imagined scenarios where we end up kissing. The sex stuff is a little more vague in my mind. Although this position has occurred to me on more than one occasion, along with one or two other things. Usually in my imagination you're wearing a dress," Jane said as her hands moved to Maura's ass and pulled Maura back towards her. Jane pressed her lips to Maura's neck and between kisses continued, "Dresses provide a little more skin access."

Maura's hands threaded into Jane's hair and pulled her head backwards against the couch and said with obvious surprise, "I had no idea you had such thoughts."

"Did you think about me?" Jane asked with a hint of vulnerability.

"Yes, I did," Maura said simply.

"Wanna tell me anything about those thoughts?"

Maura shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?" Jane whined.

"I think we should go to the bedroom."

"Oh, yeah, okay," Jane said, nodding in agreement.

* * *

In the bedroom, Maura pointed at the bed and said, "Sit."

Jane sat at the end of the bed. Maura stood in front of her and pulled Jane's t-shirt off. Maura then sunk to her knees. "I think you're so gorgeous, Jane. Sometimes I look at you and you take my breath away."

Jane blushed. "Jeez, Maura."

Maura reached for Jane's jeans, unbuttoned them and pulled them off, leaving Jane in her underwear and bra. Jane slid back on the bed until she was leaning against the headboard, long legs stretched out in front of her.

Maura took off her shirt and pants and Jane watched mesmerized. "I never understood the point of sexy underwear until literally this very second," Jane said as the black lace boyshorts Maura was wearing were revealed.

"No?" Maura said curiously as she climbed onto the bed and straddled Jane's lap.

"No, I mean I thought if the point is to just get the underwear off why waste energy on having them look nice?" Jane's hands roamed over Maura's sides and then around her ass. "But right now I totally get it."

Maura stared into Jane's eyes. "I hope you never stop looking at me like you are right now."

Jane sat forward to kiss Maura, hands squeezing Maura's ass. Her lips trailed across Maura's jaw and down her neck. "Did you imagine this?"

"Yes."

Jane unhooked Maura's bra, pulled the straps slowly down her arms, and tossed it aside.

Her hand moved between Maura's legs and gently stroked the fabric there. "Just like this?"

"Yes, just like this," she breathed against Jane's neck. Maura clasped her hands behind Jane's head and rose onto her knees, giving Jane's hand better access.

Jane's other hand found Maura's breast. She lowered her head slightly so she could wrap her lips around a nipple and felt it harden under the flicks of her tongue. With her hands tangled in Jane's hair, Maura once again pulled Jane's head backwards and plunged her tongue into Jane's mouth.

Jane didn't want to move or make Maura move. She didn't want to risk ruining this moment of perfection. So her fingers simply pushed fabric aside to find the wet warmth underneath and then slid inside Maura.

"Oh, Jane," Maura whimpered against Jane's lips.

"Jesus, Maura."

"I think," Maura said, punctuating every few words with a heavy breath, "that we...should stay here longer..so that we can explore...our new relationship further...without any distractions."

"I agree."


	5. Chapter 5

**After Everything**

Chapter 5

Pairing: Jane/Maura  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

**Warning: Major Spoilers for Episode 3.10. See Chapter 1 for full summary.**

* * *

Maura relaxed back into a sitting position on Jane's lap. Breathing heavily she rested her forehead against Jane's. When she caught her breath she pulled back and opened her eyes to find Jane looking at her pensively. "Did we just go too far too fast?" Maura asked.

"No. No, not at all. I... uh... that was amazing. I think I am a little in awe that this is really happening," Jane said softly.

"You look concerned."

"I'm not concerned. I think I'm overwhelmed and... Jesus, I'm not sure how to explain this."

"What is it?" Maura asked reassuringly.

Jane's hands settled on Maura's lower back, thumbs brushing along Maura's sides and hands holding on firmly, possessively. "Okay, it's... This is going to sound weird but I've had plenty of sex before, but it's never felt like this. Giving you pleasure, being inside you...that felt incredible. I don't know how to explain it. It's like in the past I've only been a passive participant and I was fine with that. Whether I came or he came, I didn't really care that much. This is totally different. Right now I feel sexy. And powerful. And I want to do whatever it takes to continue to make you feel good."

Maura grinned and leaned into Jane again and kissed her sloppily on the mouth. When she broke the kiss she said, "I want to taste you."

"Jesus, Maur," Jane whispered.

"Was that too much?"

"No, it's just that I don't think anyone has ever said that to me before. Or anything even remotely like that before."

Maura reached behind Jane to unclasp Jane's bra and pulled it off. Maura moved off of Jane's lap and gestured for Jane to slide down the bed so she was flat on her back. Maura pushed Jane's legs apart and settled between them, dropping her weight on top of Jane to capture her lips in another kiss.

Maura's hand skimmed up and down Jane's side, fingertips ghosting over the side of Jane's breast until Jane was rolling her hips against Maura.

Maura moved down to press her lips and tongue to Jane's neck and then chest. Her tongue made a slow circle around one nipple and then another. Her mouth continued its path down Jane's torso until she paused when she reached the top of Jane's underwear. She pressed a kiss over the thin waistband and then lower, her breath hot against Jane's core.

Jane squirmed and raised her head to look down at Maura. "Are you going to make me beg?"

Maura raised her eyes to look at Jane. "No, you don't have to beg. But I want to make sure you want it."

Jane dropped her head back on the pillow. "Yes, I want it. Please, Maura, I want it."

Maura grinned and briefly sat up to pull off Jane's underwear. Grasping Jane's hips in her hands to anchor Jane to the bed, Maura returned her mouth to Jane's center, running her tongue through already wet folds.

"Oh god, Maura," Jane moaned, hips straining against Maura's hands.

Maura held firm as she dipped her tongue inside Jane, reveling in the sensation, the taste, the sounds Jane was making.

Maura moved her mouth up and covered Jane's clit. Jane raised herself on her elbows and watched Maura's movements. "Fuck, right there," she groaned as Maura's tongue flicked over and around her clit. Jane's hand tangled in Maura's hair and Jane fell back against the bed once again. "Yes, that's it," Jane continued. "Fuck, yes, that's it."

Maura felt Jane tense under her hands and Jane's grip in her hair tightened until her whole body was shaking. Jane moaned once more and then her body relaxed. Maura continued to lick at Jane's clit until Jane said, "Fuck, Maura, too soon. I'm good right now." Maura took a second to finally pull off her own panties before crawling back above Jane's body. Jane pulled Maura down on top of her and into a languid kiss.

The kiss continued until it started getting heated again. Maura pushed Jane's legs apart again with her knee and lightly stroked through wetness with her fingers. "Can I?" Maura asked.

Jane nodded, keeping her eyes locked on Maura's eyes even as she gasped as Maura entered her.

"Oh Jane," Maura murmured before kissing Jane again, dipping her tongue into Jane's mouth with deliberate precision.

"I want to touch you too," Jane said, her voice barely above a whisper. Maura shifted enough to let Jane's hand between their bodies and Jane's fingers slipped inside her again. Jane grasped the back of Maura's neck and held her close as they came together before drifting off to sleep holding each other close.

* * *

They slept in late the next morning. Maura was still sleeping contentedly when Jane reluctantly got out of bed. She needed food and coffee and she really needed to call her mother. It had been days since they had spoken and Jane knew she would want an update. Jane turned on the coffee maker and then made the phone call.

"Jane?" Angela answered the phone.

"Hey, Ma."

"Is everything going okay up there? How's Maura? When are you coming home?" Angela asked in rapid succession.

"Maura's doing pretty well. But, I'm calling because I want to let you know that we're going to stay up here for at least a few more days."

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Angela asked, her concern not alleviated by the fact they were staying away longer.

"Yeah, everything is fine." Jane paused and then made a decision about what to say next. "Actually everything is great. The thing is, part of the reason we're staying up here a little longer is because Maura and I are...I guess we're exploring our relationship."

"What? What does that mean?" Angela responded.

Jane could envision the exact face her mother was making right now as she tried to understand what Jane was trying to tell her. "I really didn't intend to have this conversation with you over the phone but I also don't want to keep this information from you and spring it on you when we got back. I want you to know what's going on. We, um..." Jane sighed before plowing ahead. "I have feelings for Maura."

"Feelings?"

"Yeah, like... romantic feelings."

"Oh," Angela said softly.

"And Maura has feelings for me. I think we've both felt this way for awhile and we finally confessed to each other what we both were feeling. That's what we are spending some time exploring right now. It's all new and we have this time alone together and free from work. It seemed like we should take advantage of that to make sure we're making the right decision."

"I see."

Jane let a moment of silence pass before saying, "Is that really all you have to say?"

"I don't know, honey," Angela said carefully. "It's very surprising and I wasn't expecting to hear this when you called. I'm not sure what to think."

"It's okay, Ma," Jane sighed. "I'm sorry we're talking about it over the phone. This isn't the best way to have this conversation."

"Janie, I'm not upset. I'm just caught off guard. You know I think of Maura like a daughter, but I didn't know this was a possibility. I love you, honey. We'll talk all about it when you get back and we can have a real conversation."

"I love you too, Ma."

"Give Maura my love too," Angela added.

"I will. Bye, Ma."

Jane put down the phone and turned around to find Maura standing in the kitchen doorway. Jane smiled at the sight of Maura in her flannel pajama bottoms and gray a henley, hair disheveled, and a sliver of skin visible above the waistband of the pajamas as she stretched her arms above head. "Were you on the phone?" Maura asked, her voice still laced with sleepiness.

"Yeah, Ma sends her love," Jane said.

"Oh. Did you tell her we're staying a little longer?"

"Yes. I also told sort of told her about us."

"You did?" Maura said with evident surprise.

"I wasn't really planning on telling her this morning but she asked how you were and I just started talking. I didn't give her all the details, just that we are 'exploring our relationship,'" Jane, using her hands to put air quotes around the last phrase.

"Oh, that's what we're doing?" Maura laughed. Maura walked over to Jane and leaned against her, wrapping her arms around Jane's waist, before saying, "I wasn't expecting you to tell people so soon."

Jane ran her fingers through Maura's hair. "I don't want to hide it from her or anyone else. As soon as she asked how you were doing, it didn't seem right not to tell her."

"How did she respond?"

"I think she's surprised and maybe confused. But she said she wasn't upset. I'm sure there will be a long conversation when we get back but I think she'll be okay."

Maura looked up and Jane, "Are you okay?"

Jane pressed soft kiss to Maura's lips. "I'm...fantastic."

* * *

In the afternoon Jane went for a swim and tried not to think about how awesome having a pool right at her house would be. After showering and dressing she went in search of Maura, who she found on the front porch.

As Jane walked out onto the porch, Maura hastily tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. She sniffled before saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me crying."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Maura half-heartedly said.

Jane just cocked her and made a disbelieving face in return. She sat down next to Maura, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and waited patiently.

Maura was silent for a long time but finally said, "I haven't thought about it much since the first night we were here, but sometimes it just hits me. I was so close to dying. He could have pulled me down the elevator shaft with him. Or he could have killed me before you got there. Of you could have not realized he was the killer and not come to find me"

"If I hadn't been jealous of him, maybe I wouldn't have," Jane said.

Maura shook her head. "It's too random. I like order. I like things that can be scientifically explained, that are predictable, controlled. I don't like that it was chance that I met Dennis, chance that he wanted to kill me, chance that I survived. I hate the feeling that nothing was actually in my control."

"Are your feelings for me, and my feelings for you, scientifically explainable?"

"I know you think I should say no, but I could tell you all the chemical reactions happening in my body when I see you and touch you."

"That's not the same thing. And really, telling a girl your feelings for her are just chemical reactions is so not romantic."

Maura turned toward Jane and brushed her hand against Jane's cheek to pull their lips together. "I love you."

"Come on inside," Jane said. "It's cold enough to have a fire this evening. I'll get you a glass of wine, we'll make something simple for dinner, and we can sit in front of the fire together."


	6. Chapter 6

**After Everything**

Chapter 6

Pairing: Jane/Maura  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

**Warning: Major Spoilers for Episode 3.10. See Chapter 1 for full summary.**

* * *

Maura woke up with the feeling of hot breath on her thighs followed by light kisses to the skin there. She squirmed, arching her back and stretching her arms above her head before she looked down at Jane who was looking up at her with a grin.

Jane pressed her lips to Maura's panties and teasingly touched the fabric with her tongue.

"I hope you're prepared to finish what you're starting," Maura said, arching into Jane's touch.

"Of course I am," Jane answered as she quickly pulled off Maura's underwear and settled completely between Maura's legs, two hands pushing her thighs apart.

Jane's tongue made long, broad strokes against Maura's center until Maura was whimpering and writhing beneath her. Maura threaded her fingers in Jane's hair so she could try to direct Jane's tongue where she needed it.

"Please, Jane," Maura said between moans. Jane swirled her tongue over Maura's clit, eliciting another, "Oh, Jane," as Maura's fingernails dug into Jane's scalp.

A few more flicks of Jane's tongue and Maura cried out, her body tightening and arching into Jane's face before relaxing back onto the bed.

Jane made a trail of kissed up Maura's stomach and neck until she was resting on top of Maura. She brushed her fingers lightly over Maura's cheek as Maura recovered her breath.

Maura pulled Jane's face towards her and kissed her mouth possessively. "I think it's time to go home," Maura said when they separated.

Jane frowned. "Are you sure? Because this is pretty nice. We could just stay. No more murders, no more dead bodies. No more of my mother living right next door to you, coming in and out whenever she wants to."

"I'm sure," Maura said. "I came up here because I needed to get away so that I could forget about...what happened to me. But I don't want to hide away forever."

"We aren't hiding. We're allowed to take a vacation, especially after traumatic events," Jane countered and then returned her mouth to kissing and sucking on Maura's neck.

"Regardless, I'm ready for life to get back to normal."

Jane pulled her head up and frowned again. "Not too normal, I hope."

"And I hope you're not referring to us. I didn't ask you to come here with me so that I could tell you I love you, only to pretend it never happened when we return home."

"So that _was_ your plan when you invited me here with you," Jane joked.

Maura grinned. "Maybe."

"Things are going to be different when we get home, though. Are you ready to tell everyone about us?"

"Yes, I think so. I don't see any reason not to tell our friends and family. Do you think we should throw a party?" Maura asked, eyes lighting up.

"Oh my god, no, we should not throw party. We're just getting started, let's not go overboard too soon. We'll have family dinner and tell my brothers. And take Korsak and Frost out for drinks and tell them. I don't know about my father, or what you want to do with your parents, but we don't see them everyday so I'm assuming it's not as pressing to tell them anything. I don't think there's anyone else that needs a formal announcement that we are dating."

"Are you ready for whatever conversation is going to happen with your mother?" Maura asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose. So, do you want to go home today?"

"How about we leave this afternoon? Let's go for one more hike and then go home. But first..." Maura trailed off.

"What?" Jane said.

Maura arched her eyebrows and moved a hand between their bodies.

"Ohhh," Jane said and shifted to prop herself up to allow Maura's hand to slip under the waistband of her shorts. She sighed as Maura's fingers found their destination.

"Oh, Jane, you're so wet."'

"Of course I am. Just looking at you can make me wet."

"That's so sweet. You know, there is one very good thing about going home," Maura said seductively.

"What's that?" Jane asked, only sort of paying attention as she continued to try to find the right position above Maura.

"I have a vast collection of toys for us to use together."

Jane's head snapped up. "You better not be talking about toys you've used with other people."

"Of course not. They're toys I use by myself when I'm thinking about you and imagining that you're touching me." Maura punctuated the end of the sentence by sliding two fingers inside Jane.

"Oh, fuck," Jane moaned. Propping herself up with her hands on either side of Maura's head, Jane thrust her body down against Maura's hand, setting her own rhythm. Slowly, between thrusts, Jane said, "Tell me about one of your toys."

Maura's free hand cupped Jane's cheek, directing Jane to look at her. "I have a dildo and when I pushed it inside myself, I would imagine it was your fingers."

"Fuck, "Jane moaned. She dipped her head and plunged her tongue into Maura's mouth. The kiss stifled Jane's moans as she came.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to just drive back to New Hampshire right now?" Jane said quietly.

"Shh," Maura said, lightly slapping Jane's leg.

Jane sighed and returned her attention to Angela who was sitting across from them at the dining table. Angela had been quietly staring at them from across the table for what felt like hours, but had probably been five minutes.

Jane knew the drill. It was her mother's favorite interrogation technique, to stay silent until the other person got so uncomfortable that they started talking. It worked well for Jane too with murder suspects. People often thought they could talk their way out of the interrogation room, but the more you talked the more likely it was you would make a mistake.

Jane was silent, waiting for Angela to say whatever she needed to say, but that didn't mean she wasn't nervous as hell on the inside. She was also confused about exactly what her mother was waiting for. Did she expect Jane or Maura to blurt out something incriminating? Was she waiting them out because she thought they were playing a joke on her or something like that? Or was Angela so opposed to their relationship that she had finally been rendered speechless?

Maura, on the other hand, could not successfully remain silent for this long. "Angela, same sex relationships have been found in many animal species."

Before Maura could continue Jane grabbed her hand and squeezed hard enough for Maura to look at Jane and realize she needed to stop talking.

But Maura's words had finally goaded Angela into talking. She looked at Jane and said, "Janie, I'm not going to lie to you. From the time you were a baby I imagined what your future would hold and this is not what I ever imagined for you. I never thought you would be content to be a housewife, but God knows I didn't want you to become a cop. Even then, I still expected you to have a husband and children."

"Ma," Jane started to say but Angela held up her hand.

"I've been thinking about this since you called me. I really just want you to be happy."

"Maura makes me happy," Jane said, squeezing Maura's hand again under the table.

"I know. I was surprised at first that you were talking about having a romantic relationship with Maura. But after I thought about it I realized that maybe I should have seen this coming. I'm not so out of touch that I don't know that women can fall in love with each other, but if I had been more open-minded I might have seen that your relationship has been more than a friendship for while," Angela said and then turned her attention to Maura. "You know that I think of you like a daughter. Honestly, if Jane came home with any other woman, I'm not sure I would accept it so easily. So I need to know if you are serious about this, Maura?"

"Angela, I love Jane," Maura responded. "I intend to be with her for as long as she'll have me."

"I believe you, but if you hurt my daughter you'll have me to answer to," Angela said without a trace of humor.

Maura nodded seriously and said, "I understand."

"Thanks, Ma," Jane said.

"That goes for you too," Angela said, returning her attention to Jane.

Jane held up her hands in surrender. "I hear you."

"Have you told anyone else about this?" Angela asked.

"No," Jane answered. "I thought we'd tell Frankie and Tommy when we all have dinner this week."

Angela nodded and stood up. "Okay, I'll leave you two alone now."

Jane stood too and went to Angela to wrap her in a hug. "I love you, Ma."

"I love you, Jane."

Jane walked Angela to the back door and said goodbye. Once Angela was gone, Jane turned to Maura and said, "Sorry about that."

"Are you kidding?" Maura said, beaming. "I've never been interrogated by the parents of someone I was dating before. It was kind of fun and exhilarating."

Jane moved in front of Maura and with her hands on Maura's waist pulled Maura closer to her. "You are ridiculous. And amazing. And I love you."

"Want to go upstairs?" Maura asked.

"You know I do have to go to my own apartment sometime."

"Tomorrow," Maura replied, grabbing Jane's hand and pulling her to the stairs.

* * *

**The End**

**_A/N: I'm marking this story complete now. Thanks for reading!_**


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